Something I think needs said

To All Dead Beat Parents.....
Do you know what you are missing? Have you ever really thought about it?
All the hugs and kisses the skinned knees the tears that you whipe away when
things in this world seem to hard? How many goodnights and bedtime stories have
you missed? How many questions why? Why is the grass green? why does my hair grow?
How many I love you? How many little leage games and hollaring "Thats my boy/girl!!!"
How many monsters have you scared out of closets? and chased from under the bed? Look in your wallet and see if that dollar that you refuse to pay to child support is worth all of that priceless stuff money could never buy??? How much would it cost you to pic up the phone and hear your childs voice? Is it really out of your way to pick your child up for the weekend? Are you to busy for that hug and kiss? You were not to busy to make the child
STAND UP For whats RIGHT Quit being a DEAD BEAT Parent

Darkness

The Darkness is where i dwell
in its thickness is where i thrive
for in the darkness i truly feel alive
it comforts me
it gives me peace
for in the darkness
i stand and face my fear
it eats away the heartache
and it drinks up all the tears
it is where i need to be
so look into the blackness
that is where you will find me

Wanted

A dominant man , a strong man, a man who is confident in who he is, and what he wants out of his life. A man who is in control of his own life, and knows exactly what he wants for himself, and from his submissive. A man that is independent, has goals and dreams and follows them. A man who stands up for His beliefs. A man that is an individual and leader. A man that is understanding, caring, and loving. A man that cherishes his submissive and the gift she chooses to give to him. A man that is intelligent, He teaches, and trains with understanding and patience. A man that is strong yet tender, one that can test his submissives limits with thoughtfulness and caring. A Man that can gentley tear her down to build her up to be all she can be. A Master that can discipline and punish firmly but lovingly. He will Never punish in anger. He is her teacher and trainer; anger has no place when he disciplines. Punishment doesn't
have to be physical it can be psychological. He does not do it to be harsh or to hurt her, but out of love, devotion and forgiveness.

I Long for Him to Know....

I long to kneel before Him
I long for Him to gaze down upon me
Hungry for what he sees hungry for what
I offer him
I long for him to consume me to make me his
mind, body, and soul
I long to be his alone, to serve him, to please him
I long for him to know every breath I take is his
that my heart beats because his heart beats
I long for him to know that each desire I have is his
because he alows me to desire him
I long for him to know that every thought I have that every
dream I dream are thoughts and dreams of Him
I long for him to know threw my actions that He is my Master
I long for him to know that I serve him out of want and need
I long for him to know that without him I am truly lost and incomplete.

.

more ramblings

I sit here staring at the blank screen, trying to figure out how to get the words out of my head, and on to the screen. Why is it that as human beings when we get what we want or come close to getting what we want we push it away, either intentsionaly or unintentsionaly. I met a wonderful man that I think could've been a great Master for me, I ended up getting very sick being hospitalized, I was unable to go online and write him telling him what happened, I fear I have lost my chance with him. I wrote him as soon as I was able explaining everything, in doing so I asked that if he wanted me, to write and let me know, if not don't bother, I would wait a week to hear from him before I looked for another Master. It has been 2 days and it is driving me nuts. I am thinking if he did not write by now then he is not going too. This saddens me If feel as if I have missed out. I came so close, almost close enough to touch it. Because I allowed my self to get sick I lost my chance, just like that gone! poof! I think because of this I am giving myself a break and will no longer be seeking, at least for a while anyway.
pet

Listen

....one must listen close to the words spoken or read what is written...the importance of that concept

The definition of Listen is, Take notice of and act on what someone says. The importance of this is so that you do not miss anything that is said, so that you may carry threw with any instructions that may have been given. Also in listening you do not misunderstand what is said. It is also important to not read more into what was said. You should not make sugestions upon what you think you heard, or read, it may be inaproprate to do so. Sometimes simple instruction is just that simple instruction.

Hopeless

Today i think i give up hope. Once again i have had my hopes up that there was something in this lifestyle for me. That finally it had come, that i could be my true self, that i was once again whole. I had something to look forward to. But Low and Behold.....I get told that although i am this awsome submissive who has a lot to offer am not compatible to their needs. Aren't you suppose to help your submissive learn to be compatible to your needs? So as of today I am done looking for a Dom or Domme or Master or any thing of the like. It is just not there for me. So i will sit on the sidelines, offer help when I can and share my experiences with others. That is about all I can do. I refuse to hope again just to be" let down gently" I am tired of having my heart played with either intentionaly or unintentionaly.
no ones little pet

A Love Letter

My Sweet and Wonderful Master,

I can not begin to tell you what you mean to me. You have given of yourself as much as you have taken from me. I know in your wonderful and complex mind you are wondering "What have I taken from you? I have given you every thing."
And I reply to you Dear Sweet Master, that you have taken away my ability to self destruct, you have taken away my self doubt, You have taken away my insecurities and have allowed me the room to grow within myself. You have taken away my self pity and turned me into a secure productive person. You have taken away my ability to become a doormat and replaced it with Confidence and self reliance. In return my Sweet Master, I give you respect,loyalty,and honor and most of all I give you my love and devotion, and my gift of submission. This you have earned with your stern ways, your kind heart and your wisdom. Thank You for choosing to share your world with me.
with humble love and devotion,

your pet

Top 10 Things You'll Never Hear a sub say to their Master

Top 10 Things You'll Never Hear a sub say to their Master

How was I supposed to know I wasn't supposed to put your leather pants in the washer?
Yeah, right... SPANK THIS!
Tomorrow night, I get to tie you up, right?
God, you Dom's think the world should bow before you!
And just what do you think you are going to do with that paddle?
Sorry, I got a date tomorrow night. Some other time, perhaps?
Spanking? I-THINK-NOT!
Who died and left you in charge?
Do your own damn laundry!
And the #1 thing you will never hear a sub say to their Master...

What do I look like, your maid?

You Might Be A Wannabe (Doms)

You Might Be A Wannabe (Doms)

If you ever use the phrase "A real sub wouldn't have a problem doing that"... you might be a Wannabe If you think the word "submissive" means the same thing as "easy"... you might be a Wannabe

If you think leading your sub around by a leash in the supermarket is appropriate entertainment for everyone... you might be a Wannabe

If you think it's perfectly acceptable to address all submissives as "slut"... you might be a Wannabe

If you think SSC stands for "See Submissives Cower"...you might be a Wannabe

If your vanity plate reads "MSTR-2-U"... you might be a Wannabe

If you enter a chat room and command all the subs to call you Sir... you might be a Wannabe

If you're trying to book a flight to GOR... you might be a Wannabe

If you think all subs put out on the first date... you might be a Wannabe

If you think the only purpose for nipple piercing is to have a place to hang your car keys... you might be a Wannabe

If you think the GOR novels are based in fact... you might be a Wannabe

If you can't understand why a sub refuses to meet you for the first time alone at your place... you might be a Wannabe

If you think limits are nothing you need to consider seriously... you might be a Wannabe

If you think safewords are for sissies... you might be a Wannabe

If you think placing a "Sir" or "Master" in front of your nick name automatically makes you a Dom... you might be a Wannabe

If you think R/L is just like cyber... you might be a Wannabe

If you think using lube for fisting or anal play is too kind... you might be a Wannabe (or a really mean sadist)

If you have to constantly refer to the owner's manual to use your toys... you might be a Wannabe

If you think Dom's can't show their feelings and need to be cold and aloof... you might be a Wannabe

If you have any reason to fear ATF Agents could confiscate your toys... you might be a Wannabe

If you think the KGB Interrogation Manual is the definitive "how to" book for BDSM... you might be a Wannabe.

If you think sterile needles for play piercing are too expensive to only use once... you might be a Wannabe

If household items don't inspire you (wooden spoons, clothespins, etc.)... you might be a Wannabe

If you think electricity play consists of plug in socket/exposed wires touching sub... you might be a Wannabe

If you think a bullwhip is the best choice for a warm up tool... you might be a Wannabe

You Might Be A Wannabe (Subs)

You Might Be A Wannabe (Subs)

If you don't know what "R/L" means... you might be a Wannabe

If you think it's not necessary to communicate what you need or want to your Dom because what you want is not important... you might be a Wannabe

If you've never considered the possibility that your online Master is really a 14-year-old named Jason... you might be a Wannabe.

If you think being collared and spanked online qualifies you as an experienced sub... you might be a Wannabe.

If you think you have no limits... you might be a Wannabe

If you think using your safeword means you're not a "real" sub... you might be a Wannabe

If you consent to wearing a Dom/Domme's brand at your first R/L session with Him or Her... you might be a Wannabe

If you think bruises and broken limbs are standard bdsm play....you might be a Wannabe

If you think you must have total respect for anyone who calls himself/herself Dom/Domme... you might be a Wannabe

If you think the best sub is the one who can stand the most pain... you might be a Wannabe

If you think R/L is just like cyber... you might be a Wannabe

If you consent your first live meet with a Dom/me without using a safety net... you might be a Wannabe

If you think being a sub is all about being abused... you might be a Wannabe

If you think CBT means "Come and Bring Toys"... you might be a Wannabe

If you have to remove your collar so your Master can walk his dog... you might be a Wannabe (and your Dom is really cheap)

If you think sub-space is the cage a Dom keeps His or Her sub in... you might be a Wannabe

If you think enemas are only given for medicinal purposes...you might be a Wannabe

If you think submission means never saying "no"... you might be a Wannabe

If you have to spit out your chewing tobacco before you can be gagged... you might be a redneck as well as a Wannabe

a joke

One day Mom was cleaning junior's room and in the closet she found a bondage S+M magazine. This was highly upsetting for her.
She hid the magazine until his father got home and showed it to him.
He looked at it and handed it back to her without a word.
She finally asked him, " Well what should we do about this?"
Dad looked at her and said, "Well I don't think you should spank him."

about my submission

As I look back on my life, I have always been a people pleaser. I have always felt better when the people around me were comfortable and had their needs met. My father had a very Dominant personality, and always demanded nothing but my best in everything. I was always striving to do anything to make him proud. As my Father passed on, I found myself empty, as I grew and began having relationships I would find myself with men whom were demanding and almost impossible to please. This continued through out my adult years. When I was in my early 20's I met a man that changed my life and made me crave something that I did not understand. I remember those familiar feelings of needing and wanting to please come rushing back and this too confused me. He added a twist that I did not expect, He punished me when i displeased him, or broke a rule he had laid down. Without knowing it I had my first taste (no matter how unhealty) of this lifestyle without knowing what it was. He started out as using anal as the utmost punishment for severe offences. It went as far as making me sit in the livingroom floor with my back to the T.V. while he would watch one of my favorite programs, to standing me in the corner, or a sound spanking with a belt. I did not understand why i craved this sort of attention and why it felt so comforting to me. So i would run from it, I would stay away weeks sometimes months at a time. I would start another relationship, and it would be missing what i had come acustom to. So no matter where I was, I would find myself calling Him begging Him to forgive me, and let me come home. He of course would with consequences to my behavior. Finally in my, ignorance of what I was, and my inability to accept that it was ok to have the feelings that I had He let me go. I stayed out of relationships for about 2 years when I had met my first husband, He was very vanilla and very abusive, it lasted for the longest 5 years of my life. A very good friend of mine took me by the hand, and sat me down He told me all about this wonderful lifestyle, He was tired of seeing me bounce from unhealthy relationships. He introduced me to the castle realm web site. I began reading, I soon realized that being submissive is not a feeling but a need, A need that is rooted deep within your soul and in your makeup as a person. That it is ok to want to please a man, to be there for him in all his needs, and it is ok for me to feel the need for correction when I fall short of being the best that I can for him and a safe way to do it. I will always be submissive, in or out of this lifestyle because it is part of who I am. I choose to want to give my gift to a man who knows what it is that I offer, one who will cherrish it, nurture it, and help it grow into something beautiful.

Bare bottom

The things I think about....(more ramblings)

I think about what I am missing out on as a submissive without the guidance of a Master. I think about the instruction and direction that I long for, The structure of a controled inviroment, The passions of the electric bond that only a Master/sub/slave can have. I so long for the deep bond and trust that is apart of such a relationship. My heart burns and aches to belong to someone for that sence of self that you can only get from such a bond. I long for the simple honesty that it holds the communication and connection. Yes I also miss the sexual side of the relationship as well. But to me the real turn on is the control side of it all, the mental aspect of the dynamics of such a relationship is so simple yet so complicated at the same time. I miss the equality of the strengths and weaknesses and the balance that a Master and a sub/slave can achive. I still strive onwards searching watching and waiting. One day this will come to me. One day I will have all of this and more. Till then I hope and dream.

ramblings

Well once again i find myself craving the lifestyle i so desire to live. I have decided to try one more online Dom, hopefully this time i found one whom will be better at this than the others. It is really difficult to find someone who really is a Dom and not just playing like it. I will keep you posted on how it pans out.