I long for Him

A Dom whom is working with me had me write a response to one of his articles Sir, The article that you had me read, brought back some old familer feelings. What you call helplessness i do not see it that way I call it willingness. Let me explain, as someone whom was a very willing slave, when my Master took me to be his slave i felt very free. I was finally free to be the person i was truly meant to be. I was very willing to let Him shape me and form me to be what he wanted and needed me to be, And in doing so, in letting go and trusting him, I was more able to let go of old vices and behaviors that had led me down a very destructive path. The more i was willing to let go of, the more he gave me. I went from being a self destructive door mat, to a very strong and confident woman. In my willingness to let him make me feel helpless, to him and him alone, allowed me the voice and confidence to tell others in my life no. In totally opening up and trusting in him, allowing him to see me in all my nakedness from my skin to my soul, i learned how to love and be loved unconditionally. When i was serving or being of service to my Master, I was confident that i was flawless. One way to let you see what i am talking about is by adding this poem i wrote, 

I long for Him to know.... 

 I long to kneel before Him

 I long for Him to gaze down upon me Hungry for what he sees 

Hungry for what I offer him

I long for him to consume me to make me his mind, body, and soul

 I long to be his alone, to serve him, 

to please him

 I long for him to know every breath I take is his

 that my heart beats because his heart beats

 I long for him to know that each desire I have is his

 because he alows me to desire him

 I long for him to know that every thought I have that every dream I dream are thoughts and dreams of Him 

I long for him to know threw my actions that He is my Master

 I long for him to know that I serve him out of want and need

 I long for him to know that without him I am truly lost and incomplete.

Submission

Submission: The action or fact of accepting or yielding to a superior force or to the will or authority of another person. Submission is not about being used, submission is about being of use In order to be successful at anything you must first become knowledgable on the subject. Submissiveness is an often misunderstood behavior. To those who are familiar with the submissive lifestyle they know that submission is an act of personal strength and not a display of weakness. Submission should NEVER be imposed or forced upon anyone.

Something I think needs said

To All Dead Beat Parents.....
Do you know what you are missing? Have you ever really thought about it?
All the hugs and kisses the skinned knees the tears that you whipe away when
things in this world seem to hard? How many goodnights and bedtime stories have
you missed? How many questions why? Why is the grass green? why does my hair grow?
How many I love you? How many little leage games and hollaring "Thats my boy/girl!!!"
How many monsters have you scared out of closets? and chased from under the bed? Look in your wallet and see if that dollar that you refuse to pay to child support is worth all of that priceless stuff money could never buy??? How much would it cost you to pic up the phone and hear your childs voice? Is it really out of your way to pick your child up for the weekend? Are you to busy for that hug and kiss? You were not to busy to make the child
STAND UP For whats RIGHT Quit being a DEAD BEAT Parent

Darkness

The Darkness is where i dwell
in its thickness is where i thrive
for in the darkness i truly feel alive
it comforts me
it gives me peace
for in the darkness
i stand and face my fear
it eats away the heartache
and it drinks up all the tears
it is where i need to be
so look into the blackness
that is where you will find me

Wanted

A dominant man , a strong man, a man who is confident in who he is, and what he wants out of his life. A man who is in control of his own life, and knows exactly what he wants for himself, and from his submissive. A man that is independent, has goals and dreams and follows them. A man who stands up for His beliefs. A man that is an individual and leader. A man that is understanding, caring, and loving. A man that cherishes his submissive and the gift she chooses to give to him. A man that is intelligent, He teaches, and trains with understanding and patience. A man that is strong yet tender, one that can test his submissives limits with thoughtfulness and caring. A Man that can gentley tear her down to build her up to be all she can be. A Master that can discipline and punish firmly but lovingly. He will Never punish in anger. He is her teacher and trainer; anger has no place when he disciplines. Punishment doesn't
have to be physical it can be psychological. He does not do it to be harsh or to hurt her, but out of love, devotion and forgiveness.

I Long for Him to Know....

I long to kneel before Him
I long for Him to gaze down upon me
Hungry for what he sees hungry for what
I offer him
I long for him to consume me to make me his
mind, body, and soul
I long to be his alone, to serve him, to please him
I long for him to know every breath I take is his
that my heart beats because his heart beats
I long for him to know that each desire I have is his
because he alows me to desire him
I long for him to know that every thought I have that every
dream I dream are thoughts and dreams of Him
I long for him to know threw my actions that He is my Master
I long for him to know that I serve him out of want and need
I long for him to know that without him I am truly lost and incomplete.

.

more ramblings

I sit here staring at the blank screen, trying to figure out how to get the words out of my head, and on to the screen. Why is it that as human beings when we get what we want or come close to getting what we want we push it away, either intentsionaly or unintentsionaly. I met a wonderful man that I think could've been a great Master for me, I ended up getting very sick being hospitalized, I was unable to go online and write him telling him what happened, I fear I have lost my chance with him. I wrote him as soon as I was able explaining everything, in doing so I asked that if he wanted me, to write and let me know, if not don't bother, I would wait a week to hear from him before I looked for another Master. It has been 2 days and it is driving me nuts. I am thinking if he did not write by now then he is not going too. This saddens me If feel as if I have missed out. I came so close, almost close enough to touch it. Because I allowed my self to get sick I lost my chance, just like that gone! poof! I think because of this I am giving myself a break and will no longer be seeking, at least for a while anyway.
pet